Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
