Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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