you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
and she was petting her beer can
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
