so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Randomize
