just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
