i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
