Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
he told me I talked like a deaf person
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
