Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
