Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
