Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
My dick has a subreddit
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
