Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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