Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
