Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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