The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
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