Apparently you make a good broom.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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