please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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