you guys were way drunker than both of me
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
i need some magic done to my vagina
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
i believe in u and ur pee
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