Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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