awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
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