so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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