I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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