of course. lets lasso hookers.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize