did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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