I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
