Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
It's just like the Real World with babies
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
