Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
