Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I pour the whiskey from now on
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
