i need an iv and a liver transplant
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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