That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
