wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
