We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
