Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
