Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize