Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
