Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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