You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
You left your phone here
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