My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
