You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
this is an emotional support booty call
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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