We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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