He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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