like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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