I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
