Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Randomize