Don't you send me to vm
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
