Say something about gay babies.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
