I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
