And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
