is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
