Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Randomize
