You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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