so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
