I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
