and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
