Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
