You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
