we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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