the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
