If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
