I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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