Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
