he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize